Saturday, January 5, 2008

Presenting The New Jan Brady!

I know I've told some of you this.
A friend of mine (I can't remember who now) jokingly suggested that I show up on the first day of the walk dressed like Xena, Warrior Princess; act as if nothing was amiss and proceed along in character for as long as I could pull it off...sword and all.
And, you know, if I had any semblance of balls I would absolutely do it.
But, I am a funeral giggler and couldn't stifle a grin if my very life depended on it...so I'm gonna have to just let that one slide.
Besides, I'm way too short to do Xena justice. It would have to be Gabrielle.


I think there is always a desire to reinvent ourselves when we are setting off to new places...thinking we can become the person we want to be without the old mirrors of the friends we left behind.

I have spent my life moving from city to city..coast to coast. I've had countless jobs and morphed in and out of several industries. And each time I think...this time I want to present a "new" me, a better Nik..cooler...more accessible...more desirable...more good.

I went to a gargantuan speaker meeting tonight and afterwards had this exact thought: "god, I am so not a mingler." I wafted in and out of there like a ghost. It's truly amazing I know anybody at all. How did I ever meet any of you? And then I thought, jesus how long will it take me to make friends on this trip? Will I? Or will I spend a few awkward weeks being the wierd new girl who can't quite fit in.

When I was in the middle of 6th grade our family moved from California to New Jersey. Horrendous. I was a tomboy in a locker room full of girly girls who were demurely preening in their training bras while I was still lumbering around in an undershirt for christsakes. No wonder I started smoking.

It goes back to the old saw of acceptance I suppose. Faith that it'll be okay. Recognizing truth from the fictitious stories we tell ourselves.

But where's the drama in that thinking?

Bring on the wigs. And throw in some leather.


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