I don´t like jokes.
The phrase, "hey, you wanna hear a joke?" falls right next to,
"can I help you, sir?" in the category of things I'd be happy to never hear again.
It could be because I grew up around comedy; listening to it, watching it, worked in the business for many years. So it could be that I'm full, but it's probably a truer statement that because I have seen so much good comedy, that a stale joke just rubs me the wrong way.
Also because your standard barroom jibe only amounts to making fun of someone for their gender/physique/ethnic/religious-ness. And therefore...isn't funny.
This is funny...from one of the masters, Paula Poundstone (my personal favorite):
"My mom once told me how she was taught to swim. That her parents took her out in a boat in the middle of the lake and threw her off the boat...and that's how she learned to swim.
I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you to swim.'"
Why am I bringing this up?
Because last night, at about two in the morning as we were sailing through the night towards Portugal, I was woken up by the snuffled guffaws of the couple behind me. I had originally liked these guys, we had had a nice chat before leaving the station...interesting couple.
But man, it's hard enough for me to get to sleep as it is, and on a train no less. So to be woken up, and then have it turn out they were telling stupid jokes to each other...really stupid jokes...and actually laughing, with knee slaps and everything,well...that was the end.
I killed them.
And got away with it too, because here I am sitting comfortably in an internet cafe in Lisbon. I am super tired, wandered around for awhile today, kind of got a gander of what I really want to see tomorrow (Maritime Museum, walk to the beach, Fado music). I'm in a lovely little hotel (Hotel Azul, in case you want to know. Oh, maybe my Dad, 'cause he's been Goggle-Earthing me - it's on Rua Luz Soriano, Dad) and I couldn't be more excited about coming home on Wednesday. I'm ready. Although, there is a slight tugging that I don't get to play a little more in Portugal...but I'm ready to stop being a freak in a strange land and go back to being a freak in my own country.
So...we'll have some parting words tomorrow I'm sure, and then the next time I write to you will be from Portland, Oregon!
Oh...for fun, why don't you send me some of your own least favorite things people say to you?
1 week ago