HEY! It's a Contest!

So, it is an amazingly beautiful day here in Portland. Warm, sunny...a total blessing after weeks of gray and rain. I took advantage of this by cleaning out my truck. I know, I know..I can hear the gasps, the horrified shrieks..but even I have my limits and it was definitely time. Plus, I'll be in the Bay Area all week and Henry's going to borrow the truck while I'm gone and I wanted him to be able to put something in the cab without fearing for its loss.

My truck is a dump, no doubt about it..and I hear it ALL the time from friends who have to sit on a foot of newspapers, or dig through cassette tapes, matches and wrappers to get to the seatbelt buckle. Your words obviously go unheeded, I have no shame in this area. I will say that Chaela is my very best passenger and will actually express concern for my well-being when the truck is relatively clean.

So, as I was shovelling out the debris I started the usual process of gathering jars for cleaning. Let me explain:

When I go to ESSR in the morning, I take my jar of tea with me and enjoy it while enveloping my morning serenity. After the meeting I tend to unceremoniously dump the empty jar into the truck. Sometimes in the back, sometimes on the seat. Now, when I put it on the seat, in invariably stays there for....a while. Then, if a friend is going to ride along side of me, I will take that jar and put it behind the seat (along with newspapers, wrappers, cassette tapes, etc.).

Hence the contest.

So, my friends. How many jars do you think I dug out of my truck? Back of the seat, bed of the pick-up...a combined number.

Winner gets, well, nothing but the disturbing notion that they know me fairly well.
I'll give you guys a week and post the answer when I get back from San Francisco and the Coast next Monday the 21st. You can either respond by commenting here, or emailing me.

Hey, don't ever say I never did nothing for ya!

oh, that sweet country livin'

Just got back from a quick trip down to Southern Oregon where I was gleefully visiting with my buddy Bruceroy and reuiniting the Carpentry by Force crew. Several years ago the two of us (and Bob) built a fine shed out at the river, and I'm proud to say it is still standing! I do have to say I was a little disappointed to find out that Bruceroy is building her house out there and has succumbed to using professional help. But..........I suppose it's understandable as our carpentry skills are, while enthusiastic, umm, a little ragged around the edges.



However, this ditch digging project was right on up our alley and we were out there in the mild rain, playing in the mud and diverting water from pooling up underneath the yurt. Corbs got off a nice quote which summed up our day, "Isn't it great being an adult? You can eat hot dogs for breakfast (which we did) and play in the mud all day."

Oh, and this is what Sophie was doing while we were out there saving the home from the ravages of winter:



I love going down to the quiet. I got out of the car at night and was greeted by starlight stretched from hilltop to horizon in such a way as to make one say, "wow."
We don't get to see that kind of starlight here in the city.
I haven't seen Corbs (Bruceroy) for awhile, since the Indigo Girls concert last summer so we had a nice visit. Also got to catch up with Regs (Bob)on the phone which was an added treat.
Every time I'm down there I wish I was able to stay longer. It also strengthens my committment to live in the country again someday. I love the quiet and the ruggedness. At one point I was standing outside and heard what sounded like the highway until I remembered the nearest highway was about 30 miles away. What I was hearing was the wind sweeping through the surrounding pines and cedars and wished for that moment that I didn't know what a highway was.

away, you squirmy little bastard, away!

I woke up the other morning and decided that I needed to shift my thinking.
I had spent a long day walking the day before and was running the fear tape in my head..all day long.
So enough is enough with that.

Several years ago, gwen gifted me with a deck of Motherpeace Tarot Cards and I've been using them ever since for divination comfort. I got introduced to the Tarot back in high school, but had been working with the Morgan-Greer deck..which is pretty patriarchal, but its what I was given, so that's what I knew.

So I figured I would do a little three-card spread to try and see where all this fear was coming from, and why I was having such a difficult time shaking it. (Psychologically I know the answer...drama and fear can be oddly comforting if that's what we're used to..and me, being a Libra, am all about comfort. Even if I'm miserable.)

So I drew three cards for Past, Present and Future and damn if the friggin Hierophant showed up in the Present position.

The Hierophant is essentially the patriarch's patriarch. An oppressor of women in particular, but also symbolic of oppressing anything that doesn't fit into his line of thinking, his rules. When this card comes up in a reading I can look around and see if there is something going on outside of me that is squashing my spirit. Most of the time though, that squasher is me...telling me stories...riddling me with untruths, keeping me scared and immobile. So..that was telling, and validating and so I've been working the past couple of days to rid those tapes from my head.

And it's pretty much working as I'm starting to get excited about this journey and leaving the melancholy behind, which is a welcome change.

In other news:
I've been gifted the opportunity to be one of the people who will be regularly blogging on the Longest Walk website. There are 5 of us at the moment who will be adding content and pictures as often as we can so that people who are interested can "be there" with us as we travel across the country. I spoke with the websteward this morning and he gave me a tutorial on how to post to the site...so between that and this little blog and my Street Roots column, it looks like I'll get to do quite a bit of writing along the way.

If you guys want to check out the website (it's chock full of info), go to:
www.longestwalk.org and navigate around in there. The "Forum" tab will take you to a fun little page where other walkers are starting to talk to each other. The "Voices" tab will take you to the blog site. Also there is "route itinerary" tab that will give you a day-by-day look at where we will be.

So..things are well. I'm off to Southern Oregon tomorrow for a couple of days of hanging with my buddy Corbs. I'll be out of cellphone and computer range, which will be a nice respite I think!

Presenting The New Jan Brady!

I know I've told some of you this.
A friend of mine (I can't remember who now) jokingly suggested that I show up on the first day of the walk dressed like Xena, Warrior Princess; act as if nothing was amiss and proceed along in character for as long as I could pull it off...sword and all.
And, you know, if I had any semblance of balls I would absolutely do it.
But, I am a funeral giggler and couldn't stifle a grin if my very life depended on it...so I'm gonna have to just let that one slide.
Besides, I'm way too short to do Xena justice. It would have to be Gabrielle.


I think there is always a desire to reinvent ourselves when we are setting off to new places...thinking we can become the person we want to be without the old mirrors of the friends we left behind.

I have spent my life moving from city to city..coast to coast. I've had countless jobs and morphed in and out of several industries. And each time I think...this time I want to present a "new" me, a better Nik..cooler...more accessible...more desirable...more good.

I went to a gargantuan speaker meeting tonight and afterwards had this exact thought: "god, I am so not a mingler." I wafted in and out of there like a ghost. It's truly amazing I know anybody at all. How did I ever meet any of you? And then I thought, jesus how long will it take me to make friends on this trip? Will I? Or will I spend a few awkward weeks being the wierd new girl who can't quite fit in.

When I was in the middle of 6th grade our family moved from California to New Jersey. Horrendous. I was a tomboy in a locker room full of girly girls who were demurely preening in their training bras while I was still lumbering around in an undershirt for christsakes. No wonder I started smoking.

It goes back to the old saw of acceptance I suppose. Faith that it'll be okay. Recognizing truth from the fictitious stories we tell ourselves.

But where's the drama in that thinking?

Bring on the wigs. And throw in some leather.

Fashion and Funerals

Listening to the strenuous protesting of my muscles and bones I decided to take it easy on the ol' bod yesterday. I enjoyed a nice, leisurely stroll to meet up with Joan at a Burnside coffeeshop where she helped me with a little online shopping for raingear.
I don't care to shop for clothes. I find it unbelievably tedious; which is probably why I am still wearing the exact same "fashion" I've been wearing since I was old enough to pick out my own Toughskins and T-shirts.
Pity my poor mother, who has always had impeccable fashion sense, that she be gifted with an only daughter who will never know the difference between a blouse and a top (and could care less) and who probably commits all of the "top ten fashion mistakes" on a regular basis. She would tell me that she was afraid my coming out would lead to a lonely, spinster-esque existence and that she was sad she would never see me in "that big wedding all mother's dream about."
I think she was secretly more terrified that I would start sporting a mullet, a leather vest and painter pants.

I never wore a mullet.

Anyway, so we got the shopping done and I headed out into the rain towards home.

I decided to stop over at Lone Fir for a little visit as I hadn't been for a few weeks. These are the Stephen's. Aren't they sweet? These were the folks who had staked a claim on this land back in the 1860's. JB Stephens ran the Stark Street Ferry back and forth across the Willamette. He buried his wife and father here and eventually sold the property to a guy named Colburn Barrell; who in turn dedicated 10 acres to the city for a cemetery. Lone Fir is the oldest cemetery in Portland and is now at 33 lovely acres. With over 1000 mature trees, it's been called "a living arboretum in the city" and is, without a doubt, my favorite place in Portland.
In strolling through I went to the little grove of Redwood trees (there are four standing in a square cradling one little headstone)and found a small downed branch. I'm going to whittle it down to fit my staff crest that Ryushin gave me (warning...craft project ahead!!!).

All in all a lovely day...played a little poker with the girls, watched some XWP with gwen..and, after much muddlement, decided to have a little send-off shindig. Joan came up with the title: "Less Talkin', More Walkin" - I have aka'd it the "get the hell out of here already" affair. It'll be on Sunday, February 3rd from 4-8.
Details to follow!

Quote of the Day

"At least I can still have all the cheese in the world." -- ESSR

A gentle reminder that while we may not always get what we want, there is plenty to be thankful for.

I will always be thankful for cheese.

And that I'm not lactose-intolerant.

Howdy January 2008!

Spent my New Year's Day walking around town. I was working on 20 miles today...had originally planned to hit the Springwater Corridor Trail; but decided in the end that sounded a little desolate for my mood. I set my sites on Arbor Lodge for a lunch stop and headed out.
I do love cruising Portland neighborhoods; they are all so beautiful - plenty to look at what with all of our trees, contrasting architecture, a wonderful variety of landscapes both ruffled and refined. And it was such a beautiful day; a little blustery, not too cold and not a drop of rain.

It was nice just wandering and eye-spying cat loafs on porches, I threw a tennis ball for a dog in a yard. These guys took kind of an interest in me....what fun to turn a corner and encounter untethered chickens. Gotta love that.

I wore my iPOD today..something I haven't done yet. I think I just wanted company for my head and the music helped. I've made plans to go to Southern Oregon at the end of next week, followed by a trip to the Bay Area and then out to Newport for a few days of unencumbered beach time. Things are feeling a little rampy and it'll be good to get out of my routine for a week or so. I'm hoping it'll help me focus a bit. At this point I can't do too much else except wait.
So, I ended up doing probably 18 miles today, a little shy of my goal - I'll give it another go on Thursday I think. The body is feeling good - definitely started feeling a little pain after about 4 hours, but a little rest and food helped push out that last couple of hours without much complaint.
All in all - feels like a nice way to start out the year..hope y'all had a nice one!